Today I'm going to talk about being lonely. I'm sitting on my bed as I have been for the majority of the day and I've come to the realisation that lonely is exactly what I am. I don't mean in the sense of friends or family but in myself.
It seems recently that all my friends are "coupling" up and I myself seem to be single as per usual. I don't want this piece of writing to be simply moaning about how shit it is to be single but it seems like love is in the air for at least three quarters of the people I consider to be close friends. I just don't understand what it seems to be that I'm doing wrong, I always seem to end up chasing people that I'm interested in.
I'm fully aware of the saying that you shouldn't go looking love and in all honesty I haven't I've waited and situations have risen, just nothing has ever come of them. It's like being in some strange cycle for me. I'm a not so gay, gay guy living in an extremely gay world when it comes to finding someone. I just want someone that has a bit more a personality and doesn't play up to the whole gay stereotype, for me being gay isn't my personality it's just a part of it.
When I do find the type of guys I like it always seems the joke is on me. I become interested and suddenly they become interested in someone else. Usually someone who is more stereotypically gay and then I end up having someone interested in me that is not my type at all. Just one big circle. Maybe I should act more gay? Friends have always said they were surprised to find I was gay when first meeting but then surely I shouldn't change my personality to suit others? I am what I am after all.
